A Deep Dark Day!

Mood: Feeling extremely depressed and empty, even suicidal, hurting inside.

"Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. " http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bpd.cfm

Yep I think this is me. Maybe thats why I feel my children have abandoned me and dont love me any more. Though I never really did think that they did love me. Also why I hate going on holiday without P, because I think he will have gotten used to me not being there and not want me back, and probably why the embarrasing OU summer school incident happened. I do feel worthless and that if i'm not there reminding them of my presence and what I can do for them then they won't remember me! Or rather just won't think of me. Maybe too this is why I need constant assurances of love.